New Snow...

It seems the past few weeks have been filled with grief, so many deaths, too many. So, I found it refreshing that we received a nice dumping of fresh new winter snow. I love it when it snows and it is still early enough in the season so it is not TOTALLY COLD yet. You can enjoy the white pristine blanket that drapes across the now brown and bleak scenery. The grass is barely green underneath almost dormant for the season and the trees have lost all their last brown leaves. The dogs are loving the complete reversal of scenery to these icy white snow flakes.
It is super fluffy and they can run with exuberance in an attempt to ... what? I don't know quite why they are in such a hurry? To find where the snow came from? Picking up the track scents in the snow of other animals? They get super tired super fast in the first snow falls. They are not yet used to the cold and get so excited that my short walk through the park (they run at top speed) will render them exhausted and sleeping the rest of the day. Perfect for when I am without Jonathan and working 8 hour days everyday. They seem content to run their energy off and then sleep all day. I will be home just in time for them to get around to thinking about dinner. Perfect.
So, as Jonathan headed off early for fall training this morning, I found myself awake, suddenly. I couldn't get back to sleep. Perhaps this was partly due to the fact I was dreaming of watering a garden, but there were slugs in my way, but they were half pigs. Yes, pig slugs and, yes, I know they don't exist. As I tried to wash them away they just kept growing bigger and bigger. I have no idea what that dream means and I am not sure if I want to know at that. It was a bit scary.
But, alas I was awake and thinking way too much again. I have been on a mission to harness in my financial life and to take it seriously, so finances were on my mind. I suppose a welcome relief from the recent deaths that preoccupying my head. I have been reading Suze Orman's book, Women and Money. It has truly been a life changing read. I am now so ready to take on all the financial, banking and saving shite I have been putting off for years now. She gives you a practical plan to do so! I want to get rid of all my debt as soon as possible!
I suppose this is the right attitude to have, but I find myself at the same time frustrated and immobilized to make any real changes. It just seems that my income keeps shrinking (the company pays nothing and keeps cutting our hours), the house needs more and more things bought for it and job opportunities are not picking up in this usual "employee's market" of a town. It seemed just a year ago there were so many job opportunities to chose from. Now it is slaving away for peanuts an hour! It seems you need to be a brain surgeon or a OBGYN to find a decent paying job now. I need more income and I need it now. I am trying to brain storm for ideas for home based businesses, but I have no capital. I have never felt so skill-less and unemployable in my life. And, I can't help to think that my attempt to change this fact, by returning to school, had to be left in the dust, unfinished, AGAIN!, with little hope of returning to it anytime soon due to the costs of school today. I am at a loss as to what to do. On the one hand, I am so happy to be in a situation that is teaching me that the job I was in before was not making me happy, and neither really is the whole field. I would like to move away from selling things and towards helping people. (I wish we had a massage therapy school in town, because I might be ready for it.)
So, I keep my mind focused on the good things, the things that make me happy; my husband, my puppies, our funny little half done house. I guess the rest will work itself out eventually. I have to find patience in the reaching for goals right now. I have to remember that I have not been defeated, but only delayed. Delayed I can deal with. Deep breath and .... now wait. Perhaps the wait will bring me to a new career, I hope I hope I hope.
At least we will be skiing soon!!! That will be a happy distraction.

Another Cycle of Death....

In the past two weeks we have lost two very great souls. Shelia Chaney was the mother of a friend who was taken suddenly last Saturday. She had a stroke in her garden and passed away. She was the most self-less person I think I have ever met. She gave her entire life to her kids and, later, to her grandchildren. She loved gardens. She was a avid gardener and organized garden tours in Britain and Europe in the Springtime. I always wanted to go on one of her trips, but never made it. I also feel sad for I have had a sort of falling out with my friend, her son. It was not 3 weeks ago that I noticed she was appearing on my suggested friends on Facebook, but I figured she wouldn't want to hear from me for my spat with her son. I also saw her this summer walking in Aspen with her grandchildren, my friends' kids. I had a thought to cross the street and say hello, but I didn't. I lost my only opportunity to talk to her again and I feel sad about that. I figure that the only thing I can do now is not make that mistake again and try to reconcile with my friend, her son. I have to remember to follow my gut instincts and forget the voice in my head. This voice tells me silly things, made up thoughts about others I have because I ashamed I have let down a long time friend. Thoughts like everyone hates me know because of our fight. Petty issues are so not important in lui of life changing events like losing a parent. You just never know when it might be your last chance to connect with someone. It shows me the importance of living in the now and not letting past or projected thoughts hold you back.
The other soul that was lost this weekwas the most amazing dog Mingus. He was my sister and Gary's dog for over 14 years. I grew very close to him as I was the default dog sitter when they were out of town and lived with him and my sister and Gary for a spell as well. He was a mutt, some combination of Malamute, German Shephard and god only knows what else. He was Gary's faithful companion and the house guard for so long it is hard to imagine their house without him.
Mingus was hurting for quite a while. He had a tumor in his spine and one in his neck. He lived over 2 and a half years longer than anyone thought he would, having been diagnosed with the first tumor, the vet told them to prepare for him to not last much longer. That was 2 and a half years ago. He struggled to walk, but was quite the happy dog when my sister quit her job and found herself home everyday. He perked up and seemed to almost looked relieved that he was not in charge of the house all by himself anymore.
So, it was not a surprise that a few weeks ago my sister told me he started peeing blood. Even in the last day when my sister called in a visit with the vet to euthanize him, he still seemed reluctant to go. His poor body was just failing him and couldn't follow through with his strong will to live. He had the will of an ox, but in the last week he was either sleeping or gently whining at my sister's feet. That was his sign that it was time. He was just in too much pain to carry on any longer. It is just so hard with the death of such a loyal dog. They never have stupid petty fights with you like humans do and are always there to support you, keep you company when you are down. It is just so hard to take that they do not live as long as we do.
So, it is a sad post today, but I must pay homage to two great souls that have been taken this month. Shelia; will always be remembered in our hearts as a wonderful, beautiful mother. And Mingus; will never be forgotten for all his loyal days at my sister and Gary's side. Both these events I think have made us think of living in the now and not delaying the important things in life, for you never know what is going to happen tomorrow. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring us only a sense of accomplishment because we have taken these events of passing as our personal opportunities to seek fulfillment in our lives. Carpe Diem. RIP lovelies.

Small Changes...

I cleaned up the deck of the random pine cones and pine needles. We have these two ancient planter boxes that I nailed back together and tried to plant some grass seed to have some greenery before the fall and the first frost. Unfortunately, I believe the million of little birds, that dwell in the park next door, have stolen all the seeds in the boxes as well as the ones I threw all over the lawn. Ho hum.
This is an update of the living room. I put up my favorite painting (that SHAMA gave me years ago for my Santa Monica apartment). Brings me a little bit of Paris to our Aspen cabin. Unfortunately, the throw rug in the shot befell a super hyper Jack Russell wrestling moment involving a full glass pf red wine. I watched it all happen in slow motion and had to laugh out loud because I thought of the tragic moment just seconds before it happened. My fault for leaving my wine unattended in the war zone that the living room has become at times for the dogs. Oh well, never a favorite rug of mine. It now sits on the deck drying from a quick save attempt, involving the garden hose and Wine Away. Not sure if I pulled it off yet.... hmmmm.
These walls were, yes you guessed it, dark wood like the rest of the house. I treated them with a white wash treatment as well....
It is funny too me that I took real wood and made it look fake! In the other spaces it enhanced the wood, but because this is a vertical panel wood it made it look like a fake white wood paneling. Not to worry. I still like it better than the dark, depressing wood color it was before. It is sealed now with polyurethane as well, so it smells less like wood. Always a bonus.
I also got a few pictures up... our favorites from the wedding near the front door to see last thing when leaving. I love that.
So that is the latest house update. I am anticipating Jonathan's return from New Zealand around mid September, so until then I am trying to lay low and not spend too much money. The economy is still slow here in town and all I want to do is pend a load of cash on new stuff for the house! But, alas I must pay old bills and suffice for new window treatments for the bedrooms. That is about my economic speed at the moment. I guess it is better to be able to slowly figure out what style and look you want to have and not make mistakes and waste money. God knows we can't waste anything right now. I will post window pics once the shades arrive
Ohhhh wait! Just one more pic! This just cracked me up. It might look weird at first, but look closely. It is a perfect dog nose print on our couch. Not sure which dog it was, but I got it on film before it dried! Hilarious.
So, here's to hoping I am not boring to death the two people in the world who still read my blog. Ciao for now!

New House... finally

Some have asked for pictures of the new house, so I have a few.
The most laborious project we did was by far the white washing of the wood walls we have. Here is a before picture.

This is after.
...After sanding down all the cedar planks, painting and a coat polyurethane. We were worried about the look after the first painting. At first it looked sloppy. Then I went over the area with a sander again and took off the white paint from knots and cracks (all which were filled in with wood filler. That took FOREVER!). After the clear top coat went on I fell in love with the look. Still looks like wood, but is bright as having a taupe shade of paint on the wall.
The place was awful dark before.
And notice the lovely wall to wall GREEN carpet throughout the space. Wall to wall... even in the BATHROOM! Who does that? Now really!
And after... That is my white washed living room wall and a wall we dry walled on the left. A lot brighter now. We replaced the carpet with these carbonized medium dark bamboo floors. NICE! Sorry it is still a mess.
This is our view from the deck. That is Ajax ... above the house next door that is.
There is a similar view from the bay window inside... this is the dogs' favorite place to hang out now. Look, they are in the same bed! They haven't done that in a long time. And that is the left over floor pile that we will use for the kitchen when we remodel. Maybe in a few YEARS we will have the money to remodel the kitchen. Great house... makes me feel good, but also a little poor.
So I am back to the house projects and promise more pics soon...

Ann Arbor

Ann Arbor is a place I thought I would never visit. Jonathan grew up there so we just took a trip to take advantage of our off season free time. I have noticed lately that most of my travels have centered around either the two coasts or the Southwest, not taking into consideration Europe here. This was my first true mid-Western experience. Landing in Detroit was much as I had expected, city like, and saw little of the landscape besides the airport and freeway. It was well after ten at night when we arrived, so first impressions were of the nocturnal variety and were limited mostly to the interior of Jonathan's father's house. I was pleasantly surprised at the familiar architecture, post modern and truly 70's. There was a whole neighborhood of this type of housing in Mar Vista (Venice adjacent) where I grew up: odd shaped windows, exposed wood beams, all at the heart of the individualism and extremism. I had a few friends who grew up in houses like these and I always envied their alternative shape and nature. They now seem a bit haphazard in their construction meaning that now they need to be upgraded for the sake of warmth and modern convenience.

Keeping in this theme, Jonathan's Dad told us of when they had a new roof installed and how they added a layer of insulation that makes the house quieter. Then on our last night in town we were hit by a rain storm and I could not imagine how loud it must have been before the new roof. I barely slept more than a hour at a time for the noise was thundering in a rhythmic pattern. I suppose now living in Aspen in a basement I am much more used to snow fall than rain and the two stories above us insult most weather noise. Unfortunately it does little for insulating us against the midnight jam sessions our musician neighbors seem to think are appropriate. Ho hum. One day we will have our own place... hopefully soon. Seeing Jonathan's dad house made me even more longing for such a time.
Ann Arbor made me think about college towns. It is very liberal, revolving around the University of Michigan. It is truly a quaint little college town full of athletic types, intellectual types and artistic types. I kept thinking of how I have once again quit school and will not get that degree for yet another few years. I always loved school and have let the financial barriers keep from completing each time that I set out to return. Perhaps this year I can make that different. Going to a town that centers around scholastic life makes that even more apparent than ever. There is a part of me that longs to live in such a place in which you are completely immersed in the school culture and have little else to deter you from your goals. Not to mention it is a place in which property is still affordable. Now that is a dream... buying a big house! Even back in LA that was a dream. Makes me wonder about the psychological meanings we place on land, neighborhoods or geographical areas. I used to think of places in LA as unlivable because of one thing or another; crime, freeway proximity or distance from the beach. That has been put in to perspective each time I return to where I grew up and see the changes that come with gentrification and also from trips like the one we just took.
I had preconceived notions and opinions about the mid-west without ever having seen what it is really like. I kind of like it. It is simple, normal, refreshing. More thoughts as they come....